By Audie Ayer
Arkansas Farm Bureau

The family is settled in. The car is loaded and gassed up. You’re rolling down the road. Then, it begins:

“I’m hungry.

“It’s too hot in here.

“I have to go to the bathroom.”

And this is just from the front seat. Then, the backseat chorus starts:

“Jimmy’s touching my side!”

“No I’m not!”

“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

…And so on and so on…

It’s, perhaps, a too-typical beginning to the usual spring/early summer family excursion. Not exactly a duplicate of the old movie “National Lampoon’s Vacation,” but close enough to be a long-distance test of parental patience and a cramped challenge to adolescent endurance.

It doesn’t have to be, however. With a little research and some planning, your family can pack more fun and adventure into a trip than the law should allow — well, maybe not that much, but a whole lot — and you can do it without piling up the car miles. Indeed, you never have to leave the state!

The spectrum of experiences to be had in Arkansas is unusually wide and stretches from border to border. As they say in the circus, there’s something for kids of all ages.

Here’s how to find them.

The number of sources detailing what The Natural State has to offer families looking for fun is astounding. Probably the best place to start, though, is with the Arkansas Department of Parks & Tourism.

We have 52 state parks here. This year is the park system’s 75th anniversary. Just for the asking, you can get an excellent vacation packet from Parks & Tourism that covers everything from whitewater adventures and hang gliding, to living museums and concerts, to water parks and campgrounds, to arts and crafts, and a ton of stuff in between. The list seems endless.

The vacation packet includes a spring/summer calendar of events; tour, adventure and state parks guides; an up-to-date highway map of Arkansas; and a bundle of postcards to send requesting information on specific areas of the state. You can get the packet by calling or writing the Department of Parks & Tourism, 1 Capitol Mall, Little Rock 72201 (501) 682-7777.

You may not want to wait for postal delivery, however. If not, order the kit at Parks & Tourism’s Web site, “The Official Tourism Site of the State of Arkansas,” www.arkansas.com. You can either receive the information in just a couple of days  or look at photos.

Here are a few other excellent vacation information sources from the Internet:

• www.arkansasstateparks.com

• www.arkansaskids.com

• www.nwatourism.org

• www.ozarkmountainregion.com

• www.westarkansastourism.com

• www.agsw.org

• www.ozarkgateway.com

• www.hotsprings.org

• www.greersferrylake.org

• www.arkansassouth.com

• www.heartofarkansas.com

• www.southeastarkansas.com

Each Web site is a bit different. Taken in toto, their usefulness and the breadth of information they offer are overwhelming.

In fact, if we listed everything, this Front Porch magazine would be more than phone-book-thick. So, let’s look at just a few family-friendly opportunities available in Arkansas:

• Fishing. It’s a more traditional activity, but Arkansas has so many great sites even the fish are overwhelmed. For example, the venerable outdoors magazine Field & Stream in February tagged Mountain Home (Baxter County) as the second best fishing area in the nation, just behind Glenwood Springs, Colo. And you don’t have to drive 900 miles to get there. Check out this site to start: www.fieldandstream.com/fieldstream/fishing/photogallery/article/0,13355,1701995_1,00.html.

• An alligator farm, on Whittington Avenue in Hot Springs (Garland County). It also includes a petting zoo, museum and gift shop. It might be just the thing for older grade-schoolers.

• On the other hand, some kids, old and young, undoubtedly prefer more subtle attractions. The Booger Hollow Double Decker Outhouse is one example. It’s on Arkansas Scenic Byway 7, north of Dover (Pope County).

The Booger Hollow Trading Post has been sold and is now abandoned, but “The (alleged) World’s Only Double Decker Outhouse” is still there.

(Incidentally, in its heyday, a sign on the outhouse noted that the upper level was off limits “until we figure out plummin.”)

Go and look, Booger Hollow or not, Highway 7 is a beautiful drive just about any time of the year, and many Arkansans especially enjoy it. Watch hairpin curves, though, especially if anyone in the family is prone to carsickness.

Hiking, biking, ATV and horse trails crisscross the route, and it passes several primitive campgrounds along its length. They all hold the promise of unspoiled scenery and abundant wildlife.

• For those of us who like our vacation adventures a bit more uplifting or with a bit more homeyness, The Band Museum and Arkansas Entertainers Hall of Fame, both in Pine Bluff (Jefferson County), or the Gay 90s Button & Doll Museum may be just the ticket.

The former bills itself as the only museum “dedicated entirely to the history of band music and instruments,” and the Pine Bluff Community Band rehearses Thursdays in its second-floor concert hall. It includes an old-fashioned soda fountain.

An animatronics Johnny Cash singing some of his songs greets visitors to the Entertainers Hall of Fame in Pine Bluff Convention Center. The hall contains memorabilia from many of Arkansas, native-son stage, screen and television performers.

The Button & Doll Museum is at the site of the Onyx Cave near Eureka Springs (Carroll County), itself the oldest show cave in Arkansas. For the doll fanciers in the family, it’s a must-see.

• While at Eureka Springs, the more spiritual, or curious, of us might want to visit the Christ of the Ozarks. The seven-story-tall statue of Jesus weighs more than one million pounds, and its outspread arms span 65 feet.

Of course, the city is also where the better known Great Passion Play occurs, with several other spiritual attractions, and the architecturally renowned Thorncrown Chapel, with its 6,000 square feet of glass walls and 425 windows.

You or a member of your family might prefer a vacation packed with physical — and we mean physical — activity. That’s fine. Arkansas has that, too.

Do you want to cave or spelunk? Hang glide? Kayak? Run a river, rock climb or snorkel? All that is available in our fair state.

• If one of your children, or your spouse, dresses in all black and likes to hang, upside down, from the closet rod, for example, a stop at Devil’s Den State Park near West Fork (Washington County) may be in order (either that or therapy).

The 550-foot Devil’s Den Cave is the best of the park’s many caves and crevices and might give the bat wannabes in the family a thrill. If not, the park holds an educational “Bat-O-Rama” around mid-June. Check www.arkansasstateparks.com for specifics.

Devil’s Den also contains a smaller cave, Farmer’s Cave, if your young, or old, spelunkers aren’t as ready to delve into dark and dank spaces as they thought. Small and gated, it’s at the west end of the park.

Visit www.arkansas.com/things-to-do/caves for information on those and other caves throughout the state, and the levels of challenge they offer.

• The more adventurous members of your family can kayak the relatively calm waters of DeGray (Clark County) and Cane Creek (Lincoln County) lakes, plus Lakes Charles (Lawrence County), Dardanelle (on the Arkansas River at Russellville/Dardanelle) and Ouachita (Garland County).

Alternatively, you can challenge numerous whitewater rivers and streams all over the state. A good place to start is www.trails.com/toptrails.asp?area=10728 for information on the best whitewater paddling in the state

• If hang gliding is your forte, you can indulge at Mt. Nebo or Mt. Magazine State parks (Yell and Logan counties, respectively). Good information is available at www.ouachitahanggliding.com.

• Do you have trouble keeping your children out of the trees at home? When they have to stay indoors, do they literally climb the walls? They just may be cut out for rock climbing/bouldering — adventurous activities Arkansans (read “fit and active” Arkansans) increasingly enjoy — what we older folks used to call mountain climbing.

Given the geological makeup of much of Arkansas, the growth of the activity isn’t surprising. Certainly, several businesses and facilities cater to such horizontally challenged Arkansans.

Information is readily available at www.arkansas.com/outdoors/Rock-Climbing. Those who don’t want to deal with Mother Nature’s weather whims can climb indoors (and without anyone yelling, “Get off the back of the sofa!”). The Web site www.indoorclimbing.com/arkansas.html can help.

• Are you looking for a really big adrenaline rush? You can get it skydiving. Arkansas is home to several clubs and businesses willing to help you fulfill your wish. (Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane isn’t one of this writer’s deeply held desires. Everybody is different, however, and if you have a need to skydive, good for you!)

Whether someone in your family is looking for an unforgettable vacation experience or just wants to continue pursuing a passion for the sport, www.wheretojump.com/ar and www.arkansasskydiving.com are good sources for all kinds of information on skydiving.

Arkansas, indeed, is the land of opportunity for seeking things to do as a family. This article has touched on only a few of them, and the list seems to go on forever.

With only a little research and planning, we can unintentionally unstuff our vacation time so full it takes us a week or two back at work to recover. Then what have we really accomplished?

We should all remember that the real purpose of getting away from the normal routine is to recharge our batteries, to reconnect with our families, and to be reminded of what’s truly important in life.

Now, you have some ideas and some places to start — right here in Arkansas — to make some unforgettable memories.

So, get going!